ever taking a swing. You may not show your boss anger at all, but that does not mean you don’t show the anger to yourself. You can use the anger as a way into yourself. You can look at the anger and wonder why it has come up. You can explore what belief is causing it. You can look at the situation from a very kind per- spective with acknowledgement and care and no one needs to know if you don’t want them to. By not reacting to the anger, you can use your creative mind to come up with a way to act that would be appropriate and useful for you. You can stay calm while you are evaluating the anger. Fresh anger will not overwhelm you if you don’t fight with it. Buried anger may be a little more challenging because it has been festering in your denial of it. You still allow it to come up and you work through the feelings worksheet and you don’t let it run you around. You are the one in charge and, although you are willing to pay attention and listen to what it has to say, you are not going to let it run you or cause you to take action on its behalf without your consent. In very few cases, is there ever an upside to expressing and displaying anger. Usually, when we allow anger to surface without reacting, we realize that what is really going on is fear and we can explore this idea before we decide to act on it. Truly, feelings can come, be acknowledged, and be evaluated 94 • If IAm So Smart, Why Can’t I Lose Weight?