ing on stress. Stress is a way of not feeling. We may feel afraid of feeling hurt so we feel fear of feeling the emotion instead. That just makes us anxious about feeling the fear of feeling the feeling. It’s exhausting. While it’s easy for me to say, “Just feel the real feeling and be done with it,” this isn’t an easy task for many people to accomplish. I have clients who tell me they have to eat in order to calm down. What they are real- ly doing is trying to distract themselves from the anxiety. Just feel the REAL feeling and be done with it. The food struggle and the anxiety about our weight is a decoy. Stressing out about every little thing is a distraction from the real stuff in our real lives. When we connect to our real feelings, we connect to our true selves. When we are connected to our true selves, we get to be connected to our true sources of pain and joy. Anxiety is a choice and not a good one. On the following page is a list of emotions you might feel. Discover which ones you have right now or dur- ing the day. Ask yourself regularly, “What is going on?” Stay connected. I am asking you to really think—what are your feelings at this very moment? Again, “I don’t know” is not an acceptable answer. Look within your- self. Dig deep. Find it. What is going on? 88 • If IAm So Smart, Why Can’t I Lose Weight?