There is nothing fun about anyone in your life telling you how to behave in order to make them happy. “You need to call me back when I call you or it hurts my feelings.” No. How about you just don’t get your feel- ings hurt and not leave your feelings up to how I behave? How about just loving others for who they are? Now that is a fun place to be. Being with someone who has no expectations of how you should behave and just loves you for who you are—MAKES IT EASY TO GIVE. I always want to give to my husband because he doesn’t expect it and he always appreciates it. It makes it fun to give. If he handed me a manual on how to meet his needs, I would feel resentful and angry—not to mention out of control of my own life. Anytime your joy is dependent on someone else, you are going to be disappointed. It’s never someone else’s job to meet your needs (unless you are a small dependent child, who many of us still believe we are). It’s YOUR job to meet your own needs. If you need more love, give it to yourself; if you feel empty, fill yourself up. Light yourself some candles, buy yourself some flowers, and say sweet nothings into your own ear. Your marriage isn’t suffering because your hus- band is acting or not acting in a certain way. You believe your marriage is suffering because your hus- band isn’t following the manual you so lovingly supplied him with. 132 • If IAm So Smart, Why Can’t I Lose Weight?